Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Not Alone In My Pasture

Today began with a squirrel committing suicide in our kiddy pool. I am NOT kidding. Many would have crawled back in bed at that point and don't think I did not consider that as an option. Next, came the sickness of my precious little cocker spaniel. She is 16 years old with re-occurring cancer. She and I have been through a lot together (good and bad). I called our vet who agreed to see her (Macy) at 4pm. During the day I fretted and worried. Actually, I sobbed. I thought I would be faced with putting her to sleep. Worry would be putting it mildly. I am not normally found in this state of mind. My family will tell you, I am the strong one and I pride myself in this roll. God had many lessons to teach me, today.

I could not contain the tears. My vet and the staff have never seen me this way and they have seen me a lot over the years. I cried through Macy's entire visit. Dr. Jordan said, "She is going home with you. She has an intestinal inflammation. We can treat this....I am giving her nausea medicine (shot) and antibiotics." No matter what he said, I cried!  They hugged me, I paid the bill, and left.

Upon leaving, I thought about my day. I worried about Macy's death and lack of presence in my life. I worried about telling Wil, who has grown up with her. I worried about so many things.....I was NOT sure I could live life without her. For now, she will live and cuddle with me. I wasted hours in tears and distress. I asked for prayer and boy am I glad, b/c our Heavenly Father answered in a big way. He answered in more ways than giving Macy more days with us. He reminded me of all the people who care for me....each of you, my facebook friends, and many others. You all rallied to pray for me and my dog. Not just anyone would pray for a dog. I know this to be true. You guys are the best. Family comes in all shapes and sizes. I feel a bit like the cow in the picture. I was in a pasture..feeling alone, today....but I could not see the lucious grass or any of the blessings my Heavenly Father had for me. It was after feeling alone and distraught, I recognized HIS blessings and the gift He has given me through blogging and writing.  I am never alone in my pasture. He is always with me and He has given me many others to journey along side, whether I can see them or not.

Thank you, prayer warriors and friends. I will never be able to tell you how much you mean to me. You come here, time and time again and read the words I have posted. You leave beautiful comments of love and encouragement. Each of you are the LOVE OF CHRIST daily in my life. I praise GOD for you. Thank you all for faithfully being the people HE created you to be. Thank you, most of all for your loving prayers!

With much love, thankfulness of heart, and prayers,



Parsley said...

I know all too well, each day is precious with our fur babies. Cherish every moment knowing the gift from God she is to you. That unconditional love. Both she and God have that for you.

Denise said...

You are never alone my dear friend. I love and appreciate the beautiful person you are. God bless you always.

Denise said...

Oh I almost cried with you.... My little Moses was sick last week and the hour and half down to the VET (she is only one close to me that takes care of exotic birds) I cried.. He weights 9 ounces and covered with feathers but he has been with me on my shoulder for 10 years.... He is my buddy...... I cry when I think he is getting old and going to die........ How very tender we are........ the Father God so loves a tender heart...

Girly Muse said...

I'm so thankful that she came home with you! And that the vet believes they can treat this for a little longer. That's a gift. Will continue to pray for you and your sweet Macy.

http://bitsandpieces-sonja.blogspot.com/ said...

I know this is a very hurtful time Andrea. I'm gld she is home with you. I will pray for strength for both her and for you. God made these animals for us to love and our hearts are so involved with them.

Give her a gentle hug for me, and a big one for yourself.


Karen said...

Amen...all of us are on this journey together...sharing our concerns and burdens...praying one for another...

Jackie said...

Hey Andrea.....I just dropped by before going to bed to check on you and Macy and so releaved to read that she's home with you now!! PTL!!

Continuing to pray His peace and comfort over you!

He is Faithful!
Luv, Hugs and Sweet Blessings!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad your baby Macy is ok.....My little P.J. was sick last year and my heart was breaking. I just want to encourage you, too. You are such a blessing in my life and in so many lives. Thanks for always commenting and being there on my blog. You are right, God, has given each one of us to lift each others hands (like with Moses) when our arms get tired and we have been through alot. (((Andrea)))

Blessings and Hugs,

Just Be Real said...

Oh precious Andrea. Glad the news about Macy was much better than expected and that through your trials God is showing you His love.

I can so relate to your Macy. Just last weekend my beloved parakeet of seven years was not doing well, and I thought was going to die in a couple of days. But pulled through. I even anointed my bird with oil. Hey, God knows I love the creature, so why would He not heal something I love. Thank you for sharing dear one. Blessings.

Andrea said...

I am so sorry you had such a tough day, having had to lose our precious Angel dog to cancer, I know the anguish and pain that is involved. I am SO glad you were able to take Macy home and love on her some more, and let her love you.
Prayers that today is a wonderful day full of love and God's presence.
(my verification word is 'ducki') I hope your day is just Ducky!! :o)

Pet said...

God is faithful, Blessings and prayers.


Truly, truly...never alone. We are always communicating through prayer and praise to our God for each other.

He knows the plans and His grace is sufficient.

Angie said...

I know what it's like to worry over a dog with cancer - it's tough. I definitely believe in praying for your animals, they are after all, a gift from God. As much unconditional love as they give us, it's nothing in comparison with God's love for you. I pray that you'll have an even greater revelation of His love for you, not just theologically, emotionally, or intellectually, but deep down in your spirit in that place where you just know that you know that you know that God will NEVER leave you for forsake. Psalm 139, where can we go from His presence? Have a blessed day!

Diane said...

Throughout your day, I'm glad you felt God's presence with you. Hugs :O)

Anonymous said...

I'm praying for you, dear one, and your sweet Macy. I found you through Jackie's blog, Fresh Oil Today, and when I read your comment, I just had to hop on over. We lost our dear Golden Retriever, Honey, last week to cancer and I am still grieving so profoundly. I wrote about her and the lessons and blessings of God in the midst of it all in a post titled, Saying Goodbye to Our Honey. I know how difficult this can be and I certainly agree what a blessing it is to have blogging friends. I actually saw more compassion and kind sentiments from my new blogging friends than from people I've known forever. God is good. I am praying and look forward to visiting.

Together We Save said...

I am a pet lover and the thought of you having to put your sweet baby to sleep brought me to tears. I am glad you feeling God's presence.

Libbie said...

I am sooooo glad to hear Macy is goiung to be all right! She is surely a member of your family & I know that is one loved pup! What a day you had. I am so sorry it was a hard one & SO GLAD you have Jesus to call upon!

vanilla said...

What would we do without God's amazing grace?

We, too, have an ancient canine family member. Our hearts go out to you as you care for your dear Macy.

Kristie said...

What great news to hear your sweet little dog is going to be okay. God truly is amazing and I hope you never feel alone again. ((HUGS))

Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...

I'm so glad your fur baby is goin' to be OK. Sweetie, please don't ever feel alone. We can hold each other up, that's what we do.

God bless ya and have a marvelous day!!! :o)

Carol said...


I am so thankful that Macy is ok and she was able to go home with you.

You are a huge encourager and wonderful friend to each of us, too. God is so faithful to remind you of his love and blessings after your difficult day and also that you would remind us of His love by sharing your story.

Blessings and Hugs,

RCUBEs said...

He blessed us with so many relationships to help us get through in this life. Blessings to you sister and take care of yourself!

Jeanette Levellie said...

I am so thankful Macy is okay now. I love how God answers before we ask.

Love you, sis,

The Red Brick Farmhouse said...

Galations 6:2 says, "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

What great news to hear about Macy. :> )

I am honored that you allow us to be part of your life, dear friend. To grieve with you, to laugh with you, and to shout PRAISES to our HEAVENLY FATHER with you!

I may not be able to stop by ever day, but you are always in my thoughts and prayers!


myletterstoemily said...

we sure do love those sweet dogs,
don't we?

it is very comforting to know that
we are never alone.

i pray your week just gets better
and better.

thanks for the head's up about the

Angela said...

I came here to thank you (since I can't respond to your comments on my blog because it states non reply back)...So, as I was saying I wanted to come here for a few days now..to thank you.

Than I read this post...and well you said what I came here to say to YOU...

"I will never be able to tell you how much you mean to me. You come here, time and time again and read the words I have posted. You leave beautiful comments of love and encouragement. Each of you are the LOVE OF CHRIST daily in my life. I praise GOD for you. Thank you all for faithfully being the people HE created you to be. Thank you, most of all for your loving prayers!"

You have been on my heart Andrea (the Holy Spirit prompting you to me)..I've been talking to Him about you and telling Him how you have so faithfully prayed for us..and so I needed to let you know how much that meant to me..

So dear girl, I do hope you don't mind I just used your own words to thank YOU right back...it's exactly how I feel.I love ya!

Diana said...

Oh Andrea I've lost so many pets over the years and it never gets any easier.
I am happy to hear that Macy is doing better or should be with the medications.
I think of animals as sweet innocents sent from God to make us happy. So I feel awful when they get sick.
I will say a prayer for your sweet Macy. Love Di ♥

quietspirit said...

God gives us times when we have to rely on Him. Facing a death of someone close is one of those tender times.

Mari said...

I'm so glad you got good news. Our pets are part of the family and it's so hard to think of losing them. We lost our cat last year and it was really hard, but God does help us through! When the time comes, I know he'll help you too. In the meantime, you can enjoy Macy!

Loren said...

Oh Andrea....I am so glad to read your words. My daughter and I went to lunch and she asked about you. I shared about your ministry and how very special you sweet babies are to you and she just felt for you as I did. Now I can share this good news with her. We prayed for you together and will continue.

I am so very blessed with your friendship, your love and encouragement mean so much to me and as you asked the other day on my blog about prayer ~ please know I am lifting you up and trusting the Lord to help you continue on your journey. I am alot like you in the emotional eating category and trust me losing Daddy put alot of weight on me! Thank you for your sweet words on my before picture! I have got to lose this weight ~ So thank you for your prayers and encouraging me on this journey my friend! I love you dearly and I am sooo glad to know you are cuddled up with your sweet Macy! It just makes my heart swell with joy and thankfulness! God is sooo good!

Debby@Just Breathe said...

I will keep Macy in my prayers, praying that you have more time.
I know exactly how your gut felt today. I am so happy she is home with you. I keep telling myself that worry is a uselss act yet I can't help but do it too.

Lynda R Young as Elle Cardy said...

Many prayers, Andrea.

Heart2Heart said...


It's because we all understand just how important your pets are to you, they are family and truly deserve our prayers as much as people do.

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

Unknown said...

Good blogging my friend!

Lynn said...

I pray that the storms don't do any harm and damage your way.. The storms are all west of us, so far anyhow..

I have you in my prayers.

You are such a beautiful and caring lady and I always love coming here to visit you on your blog.. Thank you so much for coming over to visit me on my blog too Andrea..

Take care and you're in my thoughts and prayers..


~*Michelle*~ said...

Love you so much Andrea.....you are a special person with such a love for God's creatures.

will continue to pray for you and Macy!

Grace said...

Your story reminds me when I lost "Cacai". My friend and I were really crying.
But hey, you are so loved by many... and I am one of them. :)

Terry said...

Howdy Sweet Andrea
Not pray for a dog ???????
Now that is not acceptable in my book ! There is a precious childrens book called
The Courage of Sarah Noble .
I don't remember just who the Author was but it was all about how a young girl learned about God by reading the Word of God out loud to God's creatures and how to pray and praise God all due to his precious creation of animals.
Oh Andrea honey pray for you and your precious gifts from God you bet !
I cried remembering how hard it was for me to tell our grown son who lived out of state that our sweet 17 year old dog passed away .
They had grown up together .
It was so hard ,but it had to be done so I will keep praying my sister for Gods hand to lead the way .
Big Hugs
Until next time
Happy Trails

Auntie Cake said...

I never cease to be amazed at the worry God can take from me!

So glad your sweet Macy got to come home with you. I know tonight is going to be a special night.

Alleluiabelle said...

Dearest Andrea,

I am so happy that the Vet let your little dog come home. Now you can have more time with her to love on her. We get attached to animals just as we do to people...they are living breathing creatures that God made too to love.

I pray for you and your sweet little cocker spaniel. I pray that God gives you yet a long time with her...a happy, loving time of peace, comfort and joy together. He is allowing you this time and I thank Him for that. You know me, I firmly believe in His mighty miracles and I'm always praying for them, so...I pray for a miracle of healing to occur within this little furry friend of yours...this sweet little precious dog that has been a part of your family for so long. I pray His divine will for her and we can all rest in that thought my friend...in Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Love you so much.

{{{Big Hugs}}}

Ella said...

(((Andrea & Macy))))


Andrea, I pray your dog will be with you for a much longer time. You are never alone. You always take your time to pray for others, Thank You so very much for that. You are an awesome, amazing lady and friend. I am always here for you... Love and Many Prayers being said for you my friend,

Nancy said...

What a wonderful, touching post. I was right there with you in the doctor's office. I recall when my gerbil died. I was sick in the heart. Don't laugh. Just because he was small, he still had character. I'm so glad Macy made it through. Hope you have many good years left with her.

Terri Tiffany said...

I too know how we can all be such a blessing to each other--as you continually are to me. I've lost pets, and anyone who has, knows it is so hard. When that day comes, know that we will all be crying with you.

Unknown said...

You sure are a tower of strength, that comes thru clearly when one meets you, Andrea. You are an amazing woman.

I am sorry that the little one is so sick ... enjoy every moment for treasures to tuck away & be able to pull out at whim, when the time comes. They are our 'children', aren't they!

Sorry I missed all this yesterday but we were celebrating our actual anniversary day ... AFTER we had our wonderful dinner & champagne ... I gave in then with me winding up in emergency last night ... now don't worry, I am fine with antibiotics to handle the infection. Another moment to chuckle about ... I'm going to be just fine.

Have a great weekend & pat poochie for me, sweet friend.
TTFN ~ Hugs, Marydon

He & Me + 3 said...

What a precious post Andrea. You are never alone...God, family & friends. I can only imagine the emotions you were feeling. That is so tough when dealing with your pets. I am just finding that out. They are such a part of our families.

koralee said...

Oh my love is with you...Pets mean the world to us. Hugs. xoxo

Rebecca said...

I'm embarrassed to say that I wasn't one who was praying for you and Macy. I'm just catching up here. I'm SO glad you have more days ahead with her. Lessons learned. Tears dried.

Denise said...

I have an award for you on my blog.

Diana Ferguson said...

There's an old song "No, Never Alone...."

Saleslady371 said...

I am so glad that God restored you and you are feeling better. You have been a blessing to so many and I,for one, have blessed by your friendship!

Love you!

Kathleen said...

What a tender heart! Our pets becomes such a huge part of our family-life, and their loss is never easy.

Blessings, friend. I so appreciate your frequent visits and your bold love of the Lord!


P.S. I must say, the mental image of a suicidal squirrel cracked me up.

Kelly L said...

You are never alone when you have a Father who is Always with you and brothers and sisters in Christ who lift you up..

Love to you.
I've Become My Mother

Silver said...

The anticipation of many things ahead including loss can be very distressing, i know.. thinking of you and standing in line with prayer for Macy and you.

Love & hugs,

Crown of Beauty said...

Dear Andrea,
I am happy to be back at your blog. I scrolled down and read up to about 6 or 7 posts that I have missed reading. The pictures are lovely, so are the lines you have penned.

You have a gift for sensitivity and gentleness.

I prayed for you as I was reading this post...may you have many more years with your beloved dog.

And I lift you up to our heavenly Father for all the other concerns you are dealing with at this time.

I would have cried too... and crying is good for our souls, Andrea.

It cleanses us and heals us. Praise God for how He intervened in your life these days...We have a great God who knows every detail of our lives.


Karen said...

You are such a blessing to me. Praying that you will feel God's loving arms around you today.

Kara said...

Just hopped over from Emily's blog and I'm so glad I did! I'm glad your dog is going to be alright. We have two dogs 13 and 14 and I worry every time they are not feeling well that this might be the day!

Emily Ann Benedict said...

I'm so sorry your day is has been rough, but I'm glad your puppy is doing better. :)
I just wanted to let you know that I have an award for you on my blog today.
God Bless!

Unknown said...

As a doggy-mommy I know how you feel. But God loves us so much more than we love our dogs. So much. You were never alone.

Glad this one had a happy ending.

Unknown said...

Oh, Andrea. Im so sorry you've had such a bad day. I'm glad you know where to find shelter. I'll be praying for your sweet doggie. I understand how hard it is. They are family.

love to you.

Gaia said...

Saw Macy's pic over at the other blog. Such a sweetie, glad he's home with you.Praying for the both of you. Blessings

David C Brown said...

Keep going doggedly! "Caleb" means "dog" and he kept going doggedly with the people, although he could have been in the land long before without them.

Grace be with you,


Christine said...

Loving words from a heavy heart.
Yes, we care.

Cheesemakin' Mamma said...

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I know too well what you are feeling. We lost our 14 year old wiener dog last Sept. It was much harder than I imagined it would be. I'm praying God will get you through this time and that you will enjoy every minute with your sweet dog.

Nikki (Sarah) said...

sending hugs your way...hey and things could be worse...you could have been that squirrel. :) just want to make you smile.

Wylie @ Shout A Joyful Noise! said...

Just wanted to tell you I love you sweet friend!

Ozjane said...

God is so faithful to us and our pets. My first Moggie saw me through my husband leaving caused by his illness...and subsequent years alone. When it came close to the end I thought she had gone blind. Took her to the Vet and they said yes.
Brought her home..laid her on the bed, wept and prayed over her.......and...I must confess, to my unbelief, God gave her back her sight. The Vet verified it and I had her with sight for her last months. I will never forget that experience.

Anonymous said...

As #68 on this list of friends and prayer warriors, I realize just how behind the curve I have been this week. I have not read much nor participated in the parts of life I like to be a part of. This week has been all over the map for me, and I have felt like your cow as well. Yet, I have seen God at work in my life and through others. I am so grateful that He is my God, and the God of all. He knows our steps and cares for us each and all.
loving you, Andrea, ~ linda

christy rose said...

Oh Andrea, I am so glad that Macy is going to be given more days with those who love her. God truly does care about every aspect of our lives. And I just loved how you communicated your alone feelings and yet realized you were anything but alone. So many who know and love you yet have never really seen you in person or even heard your voice. ONLY GOD COULD DO THAT IN PEOPLE'S HEARTS!! I am just so amazed at what He is doing all over the world in His body! It is really so exciting!

Unknown said...

Praise God! What beautiful words! I started getting teary-eyed! I have also been blessed by my many blogships (bloggy friendships)! God is good!

Robin said...

Your first line cracked me up! I had to tell you that right from the start...thank you Andrea for commenting on my blog...thank you for not forgetting me! Love to you robin

Robin said...

Now that I have gone back and read your post...I am so sorry. Three weeks ago I experienced a similar situation, but the ending is not the same. My 9 month old kitty stopped eating, I took him to the Vet after a series of test, 900.00 dollars lighter, no kitty, and a huge amount of grieving my little friend. I have never grieved over a pet before and this one hit me hard. Another reason I might be slow in writing these days. Everyday brings forth major hurdles to jump. Thank you for sharing Andrea...and now the first line is not so funny! I learned another lesson today...read the whole post before you post! love robin

Jenny @ flutterbyechronicles said...

aww I am sorry it has been tough for you and your fur baby. My husband always makes fun of me for how attached I am to our dog, but she feels like another child to me.