A Real Friend

Today, I've been thinking a lot about friendship. We all want and need friends. We need each other. Sure, we can exist without other humans, but we don't usually do it well. We are at our best when we have what I like to call "real friends" in our lives. God has graciously given me a many of them and I will be forever grateful. In the above picture is a beautiful friend who lives in Pennsylvania. God brought us together through the blogging world and over time we've become great friends. No, we don't talk every day, but when we need love and encouragement we are there for each other.

My definition of a real friend:

A real friend loves and respects you in both good and bad times. They are there for you "especially" when you mess up. They give love, forgiveness, and wise counsel, yet do not judge. A real friend is full of grace and mercy living out the example of Jesus Christ. 

Now, let's all get out there and be "real friends" to those around us.

By HIS mercy and in the grip of HIS grace,

Andrea Bowling Perdue

Use Your Words

Lately, I keep hearing the phrase "Use Your Words." I have a deep appreciation for words and I quite enjoy using them. "Use Your Words" is a powerful phrase. Expression of emotion is good for the soul. Our hearts need to purge both the pain and the happiness.

Now, for the tricky part. I need to "use my words" and not injure others in the process. My grandmother Bowling longed for each of her children, grandchildren, and all future generations to be educated and intelligent human beings. This was her desire above all else and at all costs. Because of a challenging childhood and difficulties in relationships she often expressed herself in less than loving ways. Her intent great, yet somehow it became diminished or shadowed by the execution process.

Recently, I stumbled upon the truth or at least a nugget of truth about grandmother and how she felt. Grandmother wrote: "My boys are the best thing that's ever happened in my life." My uncles and others in my family may be less than happy I've chosen to write about this or share grandmothers words. I, however find it healing. Healing not in the warm and gushy kind of way, but healing through knowledge of the love that lived deep inside of her injured and hardened heart. She loved her sons and she loved the rest of us.

For me, it's time to examine and re-examine how I "use my words." Sometimes, I use them wisely and in  a loving way and other times like grandmother I injure those along the path of this life. I must forgive grandmother for those times when her words hurt and I pray others will forgive me when I do not choose my words wisely.

By HIS mercy and in the grip of HIS grace,

Andrea Bowling Perdue

My Interview

Today, you can read my interview with Kat at Art's Chili Pepper.

When Kat asked me to write for her, I almost instantly knew I was suppose to answer her questions. I pray GOD will use those answers about a very difficult time in my life for HIS good will and purpose.

By HIS mercy and in the grip of HIS grace,
Andrea

Forgiveness

"Be gentle with one another, sensitive. Forgive one another as quickly and thoroughly as God in Christ forgave you." Ephesians 4:32 The Message

Many of you know, I have been plagued with allergies lately. Some days are bad and yesterday was one of them. Unfortunately, my family suffers along with me. I was miserable no matter what I did.

My day began in prayer. I then spent a little time reading blogs and trying to find encouragement. The many Thankful Thursday posts touched my heart.

My day was full, even though I did not feel like doing anything. My hubby's truck needed to be dropped off with the mechanic and picked up later in the day. He also had a few errands he wanted to take care of before we could go home. Doug is a wonderful husband and prefers for us to do things together. He enjoys having me with him.

Then there is homeschooling. We only have one child left at home. He is the easiest of all five. Wil has a tender heart and has given us NO problems up to this point. I cherish our time with him. He makes parenting easy.

By now you are probably saying, "What's the problem? Sounds like a great day." Well, it would have been, but my attitude was horrible. I did not enjoy any of it and that oozed from my being. At one point, Doug said, "you are cranky" and he was right. I was even cranky with the dogs.

I awoke at 3 am this morning thinking about forgiveness. I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and child who forgive me, but I am even more blessed to have a Heavenly Father who recognizes my weaknesses, loves me fully, and forgives "ALL" my sins.

Clearly, I am a work in progress.

Blessings and prayers,

andrea

Forgiveness

"The difference between holding on to a hurt or releasing it with forgiveness is the difference between laying your head at night on a pillow filled with thorns or a pillow filled with rose petals."
Loren Fischer

I am confronted daily with the choice to forgive. Early in my life, GOD allowed me to learn a valuable lesson about forgiveness. My youngest sister was tragically killed at age 17. Hours after her death, I was asked to go into the ER room with the young man responsible for her death. The nurse said, "he is very upset and he has no family here."

My entire family looked at me. I was 22 years old, but clearly had the strongest faith and ability to handle difficult situations. I rose and followed the nurse. Just before entering, I whispered aloud, "help me GOD..because I want to kill him."
The nurse looked at me, but continued to pull the curtain and enter.

As I entered, he began screaming at me, "I killed her, I killed her."

Immediately, I said, "I forgive you."

I know those words came from my Heavenly Father through my mouth. At the time, I did not have the strength to do it on my own. I am thankful GOD allowed me to be placed in this situation. If I had not been there, forgiveness on my part might not have happened. Forgiveness led to healing and healing led to a healthier life for me.

I share this morsel from my past hoping it will help someone else take the necessary steps to a healthier life. Lack of forgiveness only hurts the person who is bitter and angry. When we forgive, we are not saying what the person did was okay.

My desire, after forgiveness was for the offender to become a better person. Nothing could bring back my sister. I do not know where my sister's killer is today, but I pray he is living a happy and healthy life. I pray his life was changed for good. I pray the beginning of good things to come from her tragedy started with him.

Clinging to my Heavenly Father,

Andrea

With Repentance Comes Healing

"Have mercy on me, O God, because of your unfailing love. Because of your great compassion, blot out the stain of my sins. Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin." Psalm 51:12

David is crying out to GOD in this Psalm; he is truly sorry for his actions. Time and time again, we find ourselves flat on our face before the Lord in deep remorse for our sinful actions. When we come to GOD with our broken hearts He will forgive.

There is hope, with repentance comes healing. When we are truly sorry, GOD forgives and restores our fellowship with Him. Many times our actions cause us to live with consequences, however, upon repentance our relationship with our Heavenly Father is no longer broken.

As we look upon the cross tomorrow, I pray we will recognize the forgiveness and healing available to each of us. God does not want us to live in the pain and misery of our broken state. He is ready, willing, and able to heal our hearts.

Visiting the Great Physician,

Andrea