Monday, February 6, 2012

Personal Thoughts





















Sharing a personal journal entry, today:

My Nana would have been about forty two years old when I was born to her fifteen year old daughter. She must have been worried and upset at the prospect of her little girl raising a little girl. I am confident her heart broke as life became increasingly complicated for her new grandchild.

Nana did her best to keep my life normal and make me feel safe until the day she was taken from this world. By the time of her death at age fifty four, her face was full of wrinkles and she had been dying her hair for years. Could stress have taken its toll on her young body? The same body taken had cradled me and the same hands lovingly made my clothes and fixed all my favorite foods. The heart now with GOD loved me despite the circumstances of my birth. I wonder if she thought it coincidence or a divine appointment I was born on the same date as her own mother, my great grandmother?

By HIS mercy and in the grip of HIS grace,

Andrea Bowling Perdue

9 comments:

Terri Tiffany said...

She was so young as was your mother! your story makes me want to hear more--did your mother live at home to raise you? Did she ever marry and do you have siblings? What did your grandma die from so young?

Andrea said...

Thanks, Terri Tiffany: I wrote this as I have been working on a memoir about my childhood. I felt led to post a little here, today. Maybe, I will begin posting more and answer your questions! Thank you for being used by GOD, today!

Hugs, andrea

cowiche said...

May God bless you and heal you completely through this project and may He use it to heal others.

Denise said...

Praying for you dear one.

quietspirit said...

Andrea:
I also want to read more. This is so beautifully written. Stress can take a toll on people but your Nana may have looked on caring for you as a labor of love.

Diana said...

The love of mothers and grandmothers are one of God's greatest blessings Andrea. I enjoyed your bittersweet memories. Love Di ♥

Just Be Real said...

May He restore you dear one. Blessings.

Nel said...

Finally trying to catch up on reading blogs and I landed here. What a wonderful post and I too would like to read more. I am 54 and cannot imagine raising a child, but would gladly do it if needed. Your nana sounds like your guardian, and you were truly blessed.
until next time... nel

Heckety said...

Odd, I was just this morning thinking about how the circumstances of a child's birth cease to matter to at least one family member the minute they are born. So many children are born in similar circumstances to yours, and yet quite often (not always, I know) there is a grandma, or aunt, or sister who is just bursting with love for that same child and makes their life bearable at the very least. I see it in school, often. Such people are Saints in every sense, but they would be the last to think of themselves as such. I'm sure your Nana thought she was 'just doing the right thing' and yet she gave you huge chunks of her heart!